can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
