Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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