she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My pussy is not your playground.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
