Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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