I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
