Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
