i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
