Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
