I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize