I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
