is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
