Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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