From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
