Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
