When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
