you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
