Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
