Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm so fucking centered right now

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.

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(614): View more from Ohio

It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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(205): View more from Alabama

It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.

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(805): View more from California

My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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(509): View more from Washington

Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.

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(775): View more from Nevada

We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.

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(770): View more from Georgia

idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns

(404): View more from Georgia

AND YOU SAID NO?????????

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