Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
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friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you