roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
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He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
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but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.