I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES