Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
