what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
