oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
