Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
