The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
