i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
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I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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