So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
