I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize