Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
