She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
