I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
