I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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