idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
