I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
