My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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