it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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