Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
