I will die if light touches me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize