I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
