called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
