You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
