I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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