sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
