your thong is hanging out like whoa
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
