I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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