My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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