i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
