I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
