He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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