who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
