I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
