Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
