you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
