doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
