I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
