Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
