so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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