I'm lost and stupid without you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize