So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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