The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.