you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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