I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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