she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
