I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Be still, my beating vagina.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
