don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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