This is not my ceiling
too bad you live with your parents still
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
